Burn Victim

by Tiler

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I hope that this breaks your heart.
I hope that you have no questions.
I hope that somewhere in this mess, you find love, hope, and comfort.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.


released November 27, 2014

Tiler is:
Paul Stewart - guitar, piano, bass
Jesse T. Lieurance - vocals, drums

All lyrics written by Jesse T. Lieurance
All music written by Tiler

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Paul Stewart



all rights reserved


Tiler New Jersey

some punks,

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Track Name: Relief
I saw you lift away
I saw you coming down
I hear the words you say
I feel you shaking now

"I want you to look up to me."
"I failed you as a big brother."
I guess you're still to high to see
I love you like no other

"I'm sorry that I lied."
"Do you hate me?"
I know you tried.
You couldn't make me.

You are my friend
You are my brother
This too shall end
You will find comfort

You will find comfort.
Track Name: Sailboats
Well it's raining and it's pouring and I'm afraid my words get boring, so I'm starting off with something someone else wrote so maybe you'll sing along, but it won't belong. It won't be long until I start talking about all of my failures; talking about all of my mistakes and how I've come too far from grace, or did it leave me? There's those questions again. I'll try to clear my head with this smoke and let it fill my lungs like I talked about in my other songs - how original.

I've got more questions. How long do you wait until you tell someone that you love them? Is it just as long as you wait before you take everything from them? What if you want to take it back? Did you mean it, or was it just something that you thought you needed? Why do we let go of our secrets? Does it really feel that much better to free it? How do we control our feelings? Does the past stay dead if we continue to repeat it? Are the shadows so big at night that we don't see them? If you're told something your whole life, do you believe it, or are they just those thoughts that you're forced to agree with? Is there a heaven and a hell? Is there life or just more sleeping? Because I've been sleeping all these years without ever even dreaming.

Well its raining and I'm mourning. Will the clouds be there in the morning? Will there be a rainbow or will I be in the same boat, drifting around this sea? The water's only ankle deep, but it gets so hard to see the bottom when you're only looking behind you. It gets so hard to see where you're going when you're only looking behind you. I'm losing all my breath blowing into the sky so I can get somewhere. I pray the sails that carry me don't tear.
Track Name: Windows
I wanted to see the stars but the clouds got in the way, so maybe another day. I wanted to find a meaning - a possible answer - but it seems impossible for you to answer me. The birds seems so free, but they can only fly so high. The mountains seem so big until you see them from the sky, but my mountains are so tall that I could stare God in the eyes and tell him that they look even more empty than mine.

I've always been here, I've got nowhere to go, I've got no way back home. I'm still standing here. I'm still right here so why did you go?

I've boarded up my windows. I've kept things in these rooms that nobody knows. No sunlight comes in and it always feels cold. It's not much of a house, but I've made it my home.

It's a masterpiece.
It's a wonderful work of art.
It's a tragedy.
It's a pitiful end to a beautiful start.
It's funny how almost-proud I am of falling and falling apart.

Now my eyes are as empty as your sky. I try to see the stars in them but the clouds are in the way, so maybe another day.
Track Name: The Sunsets
We stared up before the sun went down
Before the stars came out
To pay attention to the clouds
The way they change their colors reminds me of chameleons
But from where I'm sitting, I've got more color in my ceiling
700 miles will do that to us
Because my sky is just gray, but your sky looks like rust,
And the American flag, and a garden all at once
how appropriate, because that's exactly how I see you
I'm always just one color, you're always one that's new
But when the sun went to sleep and both skies went dark
And the moon came out of hiding and the stars sparked
I realized that though you're not in my sight
I can make believe we do this every night
Track Name: Home Never Seemed so Far
Have I found home, or am I still alone? It's hard to tell, but I think I know. Have I found love? Where did this come from? It's hard to tell where this will go.

I always read it wrong. I don't want to be lead on. When you told me of your mom, I felt your heart drop. It fell into my hands. I'll try to carry you. I started having dreams; "One day, I'll marry you."

A dream turned a nightmare
Alone for a year

"You're just a friend to me," was the end of me. "But I love you." "Maybe one day you'll see." Those words fell from your mouth when I found my heart in somebody else.

We were close, but now, home never seemed so far.
Track Name: Broken Feet

When you feel the rain, don't be afraid that it will never go away. Don't be afraid of drowning. Know that it comes to wash away the dirt.

When you feel the fire, don't be afraid that can't handle the heat. It's only the burning of the bridges that led you here. We'll build new ones to find a better way home. I remember thinking I reached the end; you were never alone.

You just have to keep walking. You'll break your feet, but I promise they will heal. If they break again, that means that you kept walking; that means you're alive and can feel.

Don't ever leave there. There, not the place you feel stuck in; there, the place you want to be. Keep it in your heart, and keep it in your dreams, and know that it's going to take your whole life to get there. You're not close to the ending yet, so don't skip the pages. The last chapter is worth the wait, and when you get there, you'll remember to smile and be happy.
Track Name: Self-portrait
I too often find myself uninspired and I want to blame it on you for not showing up as much as you used to and breaking my focus from these white walls. The way you painted on the blank canvases of my life was all I needed. The colors are stained there, and I go back to recollect from time to time. These paintings will never dull or fade and we can make new ones because these brushes aren't dry yet and you're always showing me colors I've never seen before, so paint with me.

Don't let me blame you.

We kept painting but didn't realize that for months we had traded in our colors for shades of gray and we painted a barren landscape. Where we used to draw life in soil was now being mapped out for dirt and dry leaves that shatter like glass, that break like my heart breaks with every tip-toeing step when we dance away from one another.

Don't let me blame you.

When we tear ourselves
The split will not be even
You will take me whole

What we painted was a burn victim who will never be good enough for her, especially not like this. She was the fairest of them all and now he believes in "out of his league" and he's walked through too many of her fires. She replaced his skin with ash and soot, and he's losing his limbs and senses. "I cannot hear you or see you anymore, but I still want to feel every detail so paint for me in braille, and if my fingers go numb then erase yourself and give me your blank canvases, for maybe that's all I can handle."

I blame you for painting my self-portrait.
Track Name: Thirst
Your body is in the ground
I see your smile in the clouds
In the wind, I feel your breath
The rest of you is buried in our chests
I hear you laughing when the birds sing
I see your face in everything
I see your eyes inside of the sun
I see your face on everyone
I pour your coffee in the dirt
I let it sink into the earth
Stain the wood
Touch your lips
And pray it stops your thirst
Track Name: Become Empty
For the days that follow these,
it may get harder to breathe.
And you will become empty.
And you will become free.
Track Name: Adored You
To the part of me that hasn't yet been broken,

Someday soon you're not going to have a choice. It will find you when you least expect it. It will quiet all the noise. When she reads the words from the front page of the paper, pay attention to the way she controls her voice. It's always been about the little things. You won't always be a young boy. It's scary getting old.

It's scary getting cold, and when the sun sets, you'll feel it. You'll be afraid, but let the darkened sky remind you of her eyes. There's something about the way she smells the flowers. There's something about the dreams she holds inside. She just wants to see the world. You'll try to find the words of how you see the world in her. You're gonna wish you had more time.

I hope this never finds you.
Just know I adored you.
Track Name: Everyone
I stood on the shore and thought too hard about this poem, and when no ideas came to me, the seaweed noosed itself around me and dragged me under. Everything crashing over me and I remembered how hard it was to breathe. You were the wind and the way you turned the sand from one to one-thousand as it slipped through my hands reminded me too much of my heartbreaks, and felt like your hair in my fingers.

That night, the storms came (and that sentence has more than one meaning) like I hope there's been a meaning to all of this. The rain fell as quickly as I did for you and the lightning lit up the sky as quickly as you did and how it made it look like shattered glass must be the simile for my heart. If only each of you had come and gone as quickly.

I know that this won't mean much, but I think of that weekend in your city every night. My favorite things in life are your laugh, your smile, and your eyes, all things I haven't experienced in a long time. We stayed up all night on the beach to watch the sun rise and only got the clouds, and I should have caught the symbolism. You were my first love and you left, you came back, but left again without a word. It was worse than the first time, and I wonder if you will miss me again, not that I hope so. I remember you, but I regret you. Perhaps I'm not upset about "everyone." I think I love you, at least I love everything I know about you. I know there's so much more to learn, and I love that too. My friends thought I was cheating on my girlfriend with you. I wonder why they thought so lowly of me. Maybe they saw something we didn't, something you couldn't see. You were the only girl I asked to be my Valentine and you said no, so I went back to keeping my questions to myself. I've never been more wrong about someone in my life. All those nights in my house, you were what made it feel like a home. For years, I thought that this was it, but now sometimes I'm not sure if I loved you like I said I did. You're the girl who finally ruined flowers for me. You're the girl who finally ruined poetry for me and yet I still continue writing. I know it sounds silly, but I remember how at peace I felt when you rested your head on my shoulder at the high school talent show, it's always been about the little things. Sometimes I forget that we don't love each other anymore. We got each other birthday gifts even though we live states away and I still use mine every day. I hope you do too. I didn't tell you all that I could have. I've never said all that I wanted to, and I still don't.
Track Name: Still
I am a good man
I think I'm just heart broken
There's just been too many of you
And I'm still upset about everyone